Mental Decluttering: What Are You Tolerating?

by Sarah (April 17, 2008)

This article suggests that taking an “inventory” of elements of your life that you are merely tolerating - things that are ultimately draining your energy because of the distraction they cause, because of the effort you put in not just to doing them, but to forcing yourself to do them and to tolerating them while you’re there, and because of any additional associated emotional costs. Many of us are completely unaware of what these things may be, because we operate so much on autopilot that we don’t even stop to examine what aspects of our routine are actually preventing us from accomplishing as much as we could, and the suggestion to stop and take stock of them as a starting point is a good one.

The point that struck me most was the example of the kind of toleration required when “you only do something because it’s your duty”, particularly when it comes to interactions with others. I can often fall into the trap of letting myself get drained by the sense that I have the obligation to squeeze in time with various people, and I lose sight of when the obligation has begun to overtake the beneficial effects of the friendship. When I’m particualrly caught up in squeezing everything in and haven’t stopped to reprioritize given new circumstances, I find myself regularly exhausted as I try to keep up with my actual obligations and becoming poor company as I’m unable to enjoy the friendships that are supposed to be fun.

Stepping back to reassess why I’m making the choices that I am prevents me from wasting energy in interactions that aren’t helping me and helps me to realize how, when I am spending time with people out of a sense of obligation, my unpleasantness is keeping me from helping anybody else (and thereby defeating the meaning behind the supposed “duty”). This kind of “toleration” really is a major form of “mental clutter” - serving no purpose and getting in the way of useful things.

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