Overcoming Indecision

by Jen (January 13, 2008)

You will never catch me arguing that life is what you make of it. Sometimes you’re just utterly, mind-numbingly screwed and it’s all you can do to pick up and carry on.

That said, if I learned one thing in 2007 to improve my life no matter what condition it’s in at the moment, it was: make a decision fast, even if it’s wrong, and do not second guess. I’ve always been the sort of person to consider all the angles and especially the ethics before making a decision. I don’t want to hurt others, even indirectly, and I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot. That’s nice, but it can lead you to being indecisive, especially as you get older and better at seeing all the possible consequences.  So what I’m about to say may not be good advice if you’ve always been the type to make rash decisions and regret them later. I’m the type who makes careful decisions and then, often as not, regrets them later. If you’re like me, read on.

I’ve noticed that people who are both successful and good don’t dilly-dally - at least not so an outside observer can tell. They make a decision that’s fairly thoughtful, but they don’t take long to do it. And once it’s made, that’s it - it’s in the can and out of their heads. No more worrying about it. If someone suggests a better option later, or something unexpected happens, then they revisit it and change their minds, if appropriate. Rule to live by: if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not trying enough. Don’t expect yourself never to make mistakes. Be content to not make the same mistake twice. (And let’s face it: even that happens to the best of us sometimes. It’s okay!)

These people also do their best to avoid hurting others or behaving unethically, but accept the fact that you can’t foresee every consequence. I can’t stand the thought of someone coming to me and saying, “You hurt me!” even if I didn’t mean to or really couldn’t have foreseen that outcome. But I’m realizing it can’t be 100% avoided. Sometimes your decisions are going to affect someone else, and when it does, you stand up straight, apologize and ask what you can do to make amends, and then do it.

Indecision can become mental paralysis. One way to fight the inertia is to consider that all the choices you’re not making, or you’re making and re-thinking so much you never get around to doing, might be hurting you or other people, too. It’s easy to forget that because we only tend to place blame on actions. But inaction can stop you from having the life you want, from being the good person you want to be, from providing for your kids or your community something wonderful. Rule #2: the next decision you make might be a disaster, or it might lead to peace on earth. If you don’t at least try, you’ll never know.

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